The 2013-14 NBA season has officially begun, which means that the fantasy basketball season has as well. While many of you are content with your fantasy lineups, there are other owners who are not quite as satisfied.
Current NBA stars such as LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul, and Tim Duncan play the game of basketball the right way – with sound fundamentals. However, the majority of youngbloods these days don’t practice the fundamentals. They haven’t been able to grasp the simple concept that the game has always been, and will always be, about getting buckets.
There is one player who was overlooked in every single fantasy basketball draft this year, yet is the true definition of a baller. His name is… Uncle Drew. Whether it is because of his fluffy white facial hair, his wrinkly forehead, or his wardrobe that consists strictly of hoodies and sweatpants, Uncle Drew went undrafted in 100 percent of ESPN fantasy basketball leagues.
He hadn’t stepped foot on a court for nearly 35 years, but has recently revived his game, and is in the midst of rounding up his old crew of ballers. Thus far, Uncle Drew’s journey to find his old teammates has taken him to Clark’s Pond Courts in Bloomfield, New Jersey, Jim Gilliam Park in Los Angeles, California, and Seward Park in Chicago, Illinois.
Along the way, Uncle Drew has been successful in picking up three of his old friends: Wes, Lights, and Betty Lou. All three of them had initial doubts that they “still got it”, but when they tested their skills and fundamentals against the local youngbloods, they left the youngbloods with broken ankles, tears in their eyes, and crushed self-esteems.
Uncle Drew’s crew was appalled at the fact that all the youngbloods want to do these days are the “fade-away, crossover, jibby-jabber jump shots”. The youngbloods strapped on shoes that Uncle Drew believed to resemble hospital shoes, and wore “shorts” that came below the knees. Uncle Drew called them out, and notified them that it was only back in his glory days that players truly wore…. shorts.
Although we have only witnessed three brief on-court appearances from Uncle Drew, he has displayed a full repertoire of traditional basketball skills that translate nicely to current fantasy basketball value.
Simply put, Uncle Drew gets buckets, and buckets are accounted for in every fantasy basketball league. He consistently warns his opponents by saying “don’t reach, youngblood”, but of course, they never listen, and he dribbles past them to the tin with ease.
His unique ability to make textbook pocket passes and assist his own dunks off the backboard are luscious added bonuses to his stat line. Although Uncle Drew sees the three point line as a gimmick and unnecessary, he has shown the ability to stroke it from deep with no issue at all.
Uncle Drew’s skill set is truly an art form. His magical ball handling ability would make “Pistol” Pete Maravich, Bob Cousy, and Allen Iverson jealous. There are rumors that he once broke a player’s ankles so bad that the player’s ankle bones literally popped out from underneath his skin, and were left lying on the court.
As Uncle Drew continues to put his team back together, his fantasy value increases even more due to the dominant chemistry he has with his old buddies. In his Chapter 3 video, Uncle Drew hints to a “big man” joining the crew. I foreshadow an unbearable amount of humiliation for the next batch of naive youngbloods that face Uncle Drew’s squad.
In conclusion, if you don’t pick up Uncle Drew for your fantasy basketball team, you are as ignorant as any other youngblood.